The One Where I Wish Deer Would Bleed

When we got back from our 2 week Thanksgiving trip to Alabama, my front yard somehow turned into this:

Beautiful, huh? That, my friends, is a bunch of dead plants, and a tarp that had been blown away by the wind taking the mulch with it. 

I'm pretty sure I'm the white trash in my neighborhood.  (I have more proof coming up.)  

I decided that I needed to revamp.  Nevermind that it was now December and no other sane person was doing yard renovations.  The guy at Lowes made me feel pretty stupid, too, for not waiting until Spring, but HEY! Look at that mess up there.  That's ridonkulous.  I had people coming to my house for the first time at Christmas.  I didn't want my house to look like that.

Funny thing is I did this exact same thing at around the same time last year.  I didn't like my yard... I had people coming for Christmas... so I planted a bunch of stuff.  

See, what happened was... I didn't know anything about Texas weather, so my plants either a) froze in the 2 weeks when it was cold, b) were eaten by those cursed deer, or c) killed by the extreme Laredo heat.  Also, the mulch got blown all over the place by the strong Laredo winds, and I was left with a big, ugly mess.

After much thought, I decided I would plant little cacti for two reasons: 

1) If the deer tried to eat them, they would BLEED!!

2) Cacti live in deserts, so maybe the heat wouldn't kill them

So I set to work.  And eventually got everything planted.  Then, something weird happened.  It got cold here.  Cold enough to freeze.

What the heck, Laredo?

I was scared for my little plants, so I did something that I'm sure my neighbors thought was awesome.

Those are recycling bags that I cut open and draped over my little cacti.  Then I took some plastic bags and stuck them over my bushes in the back.  I even left it there for a few days to be safe.  See?  I told you I was the white trash here.

Eventually, though, after I let it sit there for weeks, I FINALLY finished my little front yard in time for guests to come over.  Whether they knew how much I worked and slaved over it, I have no idea.  Here is the finished result.

Isn't that nice?  Lava rock that won't blow away in the wind... tiny, cute cacti that will hurt deer... and eventually those bushes in the back will have pretty flowers...  I love it.

Here's hoping it'll last a whole year this time...